The Matrix Of Our Beliefs And The Choices We Make

We have a matrix of beliefs that drives our personality. Lurking beneath the surface of our consciousness we are often are unaware of their existence.
Although beliefs feel like second nature to us and we have through strong attachment to them, they are not our original nature. We have either inherited them through our family and society or we have created them through our own experiences.

When beliefs leak onto the surface, we justify them to ourselves in order to continue the illusion of our distorted reality. We hold such deep conviction that our thinking is right that we do not allow new information to touch our precious illusions.

Beliefs are part of the ego personality built layer upon layer of experiences and on top of the very early years of our existence. The choices we make today are based on the foundations of our beliefs laid down in our childhood. We cherish them since they have become part of our identity.

If we were to reflect on the choices we make on a daily basis, that create our experiences, we would be required to come face to face with our beliefs. We would find cracks in the foundation upon which our ego personality is built.

Most of us can identify with pleasing others and attempting to meet the expectations of others before our own. We even go to great lengths to make sure this occurs. Caught in a pattern of familiarity, we are compelled to repeat the same behaviour over and over again.

We prefer to live in a state of illusion rather than become curious and discover why we are driven to please others. When we feel the discomfort of dissonance in our psyche, we ignore it and push it back down into the deep sea of our unconscious mind—until next time.

• Can we dare to pause and reflect on our intent to please?
• What are some needs that we want others to meet for us?
• Are we fearful of the truth that can potentially set us free?
• Are we avoiding facing our emptiness inside in the hope someone else will fill it for us with approval, acknowledgement, validation, love?
• What is the intent that drives one to please others at the expense of disempowering oneself?

Diving in unknown territory is scary even for a brave hero. However, if we want to know the truth we need to face the fear of the unknown, and get beneath the surface. Only when we understand can we choose a different direction.

When we tune into our experience with the intent to learn, we discover the truth of our illusion. We may discover that some of the beliefs that drives our people pleasing behavior are beliefs we hold such as: “I’m not important”, “I don’t matter”, “I don’t deserve to be loved” “I am unlovable”, “ I am unworthy” etc. When we awaken to our deeply held beliefs we stop trying to solve our neediness problem by depending on others. Rather, we turn inwards and connect to our own unlimited inner resources that empowers and strengthens.

What You Can Do

• Make a decision that you want to get to know your beliefs that drives a particular behaviour.
• Sit quietly and focus on your breath to calm your mind. Breathe compassion into your heart with your intent. (Have a journal beside you to jot down any new insights.)
• Observe your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. (Careful not to drop into your experience.) Notice any images and reactions you may have towards yourself in relation to a particular behaviour.
• When you get to a core belief you will recognize it for its intensity.
• Accept your experience as it is.
• Forgive yourself for holding the belief you hold.
• Have gratitude for having had the courage to get to know yourself more deeply.
• Have the intent to pay attention to the connection between the belief and the choices that drive your behaviour in your daily life.

When you become observant of the behaviour you are studying on a daily basis, you will notice a gentle shift occurring gradually.