On Becoming Your Own Compassionate Nurturing Parent

Being a mother is the most rewarding and challenging commitment a woman will ever make in her life. Consciously or not, she makes a commitment from the moment of conception to put the needs of another human being ahead of her own.

She takes on a big responsibility and may not truly understand this until she holds her baby in her arms for the first time, and realizes the little bundle of joy she is holding is completely and utterly dependant on her. She gives and receives an abundance of love and her heart truly opens like never before.

Life takes on a new meaning. Not only does she deal with sleepless nights, crying babies as well as readjusting her life and re-thinking her career, she is also expected to master many roles in the child’s life as well a meet all the child’s mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs 24/7 for the rest of her life.

It is understandable that one person cannot meet all your needs in every moment of your young life. Messages of love can often become distorted and confused by a young person. Love can have different meanings to different people depending on the early experiences. We internalize our parents and then treat ourselves in the same way. If you felt accepted only when you did something to please your parents then you learned that in order to get love you had to please your parents.

This distortion causes conflict within you–yearning to fully love but fearing love at the same time and getting stuck between these two energies. Once you acknowledge your inner conflict you can learn to let go of the fear and free yourself and become more authentic. You will not be driven to please others at your expense or treat yourself unkindly.

Some of the inner conflicts that show up are: when you sabotage yourself; become resentful; neglect your health; criticize yourself; don’t trust your choices.

When you love and nurture yourself on a daily basis the way you would have liked to, you can change your neural pathways of your brain and remove the heart wall. You can do this by following through with your commitments, say kind words to yourself, give yourself what you need instead of wanting it from others, forgiving yourself for not getting something right the first time. Have a compassionate stance always especially when you don’t live up to your own expectations. You are doing your best in this moment.

Practicing these new skills is a journey where you develop your inner nurturing parent by acknowledging your feelings and experiences arise within you. This is the opposite to what may have occurred for you while growing up.

For a more comprehensive approach please visit the Seven Steps to Inner Connection.